


Why is a hamburger called a hamburger?

by Angel_made_of_scars



Series: Leading Into A Life [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety, Autism, First Dates, M/M, Random supporting character for no reason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 20:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6439624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas decides its time to go on a "date" with Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why is a hamburger called a hamburger?

**Author's Note:**

> In case you haven't read the first parts in this series, colors are related to feelings. Sad is blue, red is mad, yellow is happy, green is love.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

Dean was laying in his bed, looking over at Cas in his own bed. He had been a little jumpy for the past few days, but now that it was the weekend, it might be normal. There's was no work to be done and Cas got restless.

Dean smiled over at him lazily, and reached out across the gap between the beds. Cas laid back on his stomach and reached out to touch his hand.

"I want to do something." Cas said.

"Alright, what do you want to do?" Dean asked.

"Ride in your car." Cas said quietly. Dean perked up and let go of his hand as he sat up.

"We can do that. Why do you want to?" Dean asked.

"I need to practice." Cas said simply.

"For what?"

"I can't tell you yet. If I tell you and I can't do it, you might be upset." Cas said.

"Hey, I won't be upset. I know riding in a car is hard for you. I mean, the only car you were ever used to riding was your families car. Why don't I promise not to get my hopes up, and you tell me what this is about?" Dean suggested. Cas nodded and stuck out his pinky.

"I pinky promise not to get my hopes up and be upset if you can't do this." Dean said. They shook and Cas sat up, a determined look on his face.

"I want to "date" you." Cas said, finger quotes and all.

"Aren't we already dating?"

"I mean, on a date."

"You want to take me out on a date?" Dean asked. He grinned and bit his lip to keep it from getting too big. He never thought this day would come.

"Alright, that sounds like fun."

"Dean!"

"What?"

"You're "getting your hopes up" and you can't!" Cas said, again using his finger quotes. Dean let his smile fade a bit and looked over.

"It's ok, I won't, but I've got some ideas. To make it easier I mean. I never thought I'd get to use them, but I think I can make this work for you." Dean said. He stood up out of his bed and stretched.

"I'm going to head out and buy something for you. I'll be back, ok?" Dean said. Cas nodded and stood up with him.

"Will you crack the eggs first?"

"Of course, I just thought you'd want that chocolate cereal again. I can crack eggs though." Dean confirmed.

"Hey, kiss?" Dean asked. Cas smiled and got on tip-toes to kiss him. He didn't need to, but he'd read it in a book, and now he did it sometimes.

"When will you come back?" Cas asked.

"How far is town from here?" Dean asked.

"Six minutes when you reach the middle." Cas said.

"Ok, so... Hang on, I'm thinking about stops. I'll try to be back to be back in an hour, but don't be surprised if it takes an hour and a half, ok? Remember, you can always use Kevin's phone to call me." Dean said. 

"Ok. I'll call if you're not back by lunch.

"Good thinking. That'll be twelve, won't it? About an hour and a half away?" Dean asked. Cas nodded.

"Ok, sounds good. Now, let's see about those eggs."

* * *

By the time Dean got back, it was just before twelve. Cas smiled at him from the couch, where he was reading a book. Dean clutched the bag in his hand and walked over, sitting down beside him.

"Ok, so, I got you something. Here, I want you to put it on." Dean said.

"What is it?" Cas asked. He marked his page in his book and put it down.

"Lawnmower earmuffs. They don't block all sound, but they mute it, so you don't hear all the noise. In this case, you don't need to mow a lawn, but my car can be noisy, and I thought this might help." Dean said.

Cas took the headphones out of his hands and felt them. Soft padding around the ears, a band around the head that wasn't very hard.

"Do I put them on?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, try it out." Dean said. He helped him pull them on his head, and Dean smiled when he looked up at him.

"Can you hear me?"

"Yes, but... Everything is quiet."

"Here, I'm going to try something. Just relax, and close your eyes." Dean said. Cas nodded and shut his eyes, and Dean walked to the kitchen. He turned on the sink water and plugged the drain, then waited. Cas didn't seem bothered.

"Hey, is that too much?" Dean asked. Cas shook his head.

"Cas, I'm going to try to turn on the tv. So you can hear some voices. You ready?" Dean asked. Cas clenched his fists and nodded.

"Verbal buddy." Dean said gently. He sat back down beside him and reached out.

"Hands." He warned, then took Cas' fists in his hands. Slowly he relaxed again, and Dean smiled.

"It's ok if it's too much. We can always try again later, or not at all." Dean said.

"No. Now." Cas said determinedly. Dean squeezed his hand before he hit the button on the remote. Cas took a few deep breaths and listened.

"There's no buzzing."

"Which buzzing? The electronic buzzing you talk about?" Dean asked.

Cas had always had sensitive ears, more so then other people. He didn't have a name for it, the sound was just known as "the buzzing". It came from the tv, he said. Dean had looked it up, and a lot of people under forty could hear it. He just had never really paid it any attention.

"Yeah, the tv buzzing. It's gone. The sound is there, but the buzzing is gone." Cas said. He almost looked excited, and Dean smiled.

"The next step is a little more complicated. We need to go down to the car and just sit. It sort of vibrates, my car does. You can get used to it. We could always call up a car though, a quieter one." Dean offered.

Cas pointed to the remote. Dean turned it off and he pointed to the faucet next. When it was off, Dean pulled the plug up from the sink and went back to sit down beside him. He took off the headphones and put them beside him.

"Enough for today. I did enough." Cas said.

"You did, you did really well too. Do you think that'll work?" Dean asked. Cas took Deans hand and nodded.

"Hey, no, look at me, you really did. I know sound isn't easy for you, but no sound is sometimes too quiet, and that's hard to balance. I'm really proud of you." Dean said. Cas looked up at his eyes, then back down at his face.

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah, I really am. You did great. Why don't you read your book, and I'll go do some laundry downstairs, ok?"

"No. Read it to me?"

"Alright. I really do need to do laundry soon though. How about we just finish this chapter?" Dean suggested.

"Ok, that's good. Can you rub my back? Hard touch." Cas said.

Instead of answering, Dean motioned for him to lay down, and Cas put his head in Deans lap. He faced his stomach, and Dean pressed down on his back. Cas hummed when he started to move his hand.

"Ready?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"No problem." Dean smiled. He took a breath and started to read.

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye..."

* * *

The next time Cas mentioned the date, it was with definite determination in his voice.

"Take me to your car Dean." Cas said. Dean looked up from his cereal.

It had been a few days, so Dean hadn't really expected it. He thought maybe Cas had decided against it. Though, they had watched the cars go by down in the street every night since. Cas had started to go to sleep without doing that lately. He should have known it was a hint.

"Why now?"

"I'm ready."

Dean nodded and picked up his bowl. He tipped it back and swallowed all the milk, then put it in the sink.

"Go get some shoes." Dean said. Cas stood up and followed his instructions. Dean did the same, and soon they were at the door.

"Headphones?" Cas said. Dean nodded and showed them to him. He took them from his hands and slipped them on.

"Ok, let's go." Dean said. He opened the door, and Cas walked out proudly. The moment they were in the elevator though, he started to scratch his arm.

Scratching was something Cas did to relieve stress. It was just another tick. Since they had started dating though, it had become easier to ease it back. Dean just reached out and gently lowered his hand, then held it in his. Cas squeezed back tightly.

As they stepped out of the elevator, into the garage underneath, Cas took a few deep breaths. Dean waited as he stood there, taking everything in.

"If you've changed your mind, we can go right back upstairs. Nothing has to happen." Dean said. Cas shook his head and squeezed Deans hand tighter.

"Ok, we're going to walk to the car." Dean narrated.

Cas took each step cautiously, as though every vehicle around could bite. Still, Dean walked at his slow pace all the way up to his car. They reached it, and Cas looked it over.

It seemed that the sight of it made Cas cave in on himself. He crouched down on the cement and tugged his hand away from Dean. He hugged his knees to his chest and tried to rock.

"Whoa, hey, easy now. Deep breaths. Let's go back upstairs. Come on sweetheart, it's ok." Dean said softly. Cas let him pull him to his feet, and he held Deans arm as he led them back to the elevator.

Once inside, Cas started cry. He couldn't help it, he tried so hard, and he still couldn't do it. It was too much.

He didn't register moving, but when he looked up, they were back in the apartment, and Dean was holding his hands. They were sitting on the bed. His face was wet, and he felt like he would shake if he moved, so he tried to stay still.

"Talk to me. What are you feeling?" Dean asked. Still, his mind wandered, and he thought the worst.

"Still sweetheart?"

"Yeah Cas, you're my sweetheart. It's ok." Dean said gently. Cas took a breath and slid back, then lowered himself to the mattress.

"I'm tired."

"Alright, you want me to lay with you?" Dean asked.

"I'm sorry." Cas said quietly.

"It's ok Cas. I know you tried your best, and I'm proud of you. Do you want me to lay down?" Dean asked again. Cas nodded.

"I'm laying down. Do you want me to hold on?" Dean asked. Cas turned away and patted the bed twice.

"Ok, I'm going to touch now." Dean said. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around Cas' waist. He only relaxed when Dean was pressed against him from head to toe.

"Do you want the blanket up?" Dean asked.

"No." Cas said quietly.

Still, he couldn't get the car out of his head. He knew he was tired now, crying always made him tired, but he also could feel his muscles readying for some sort of force. He wanted to sleep, he wanted Dean to tell him it was ok, but instead his fist started hitting the bed.

"Cas, did you know your hitting?" Dean asked.

"Yes."

"You've got to stop hitting now. Let out all the stress. Let it go. Breathe it out." Dean instructed.

He tried, but he couldn't do it. Dean reached over and touched his hand instead. It was like a sedative, and his hand slowly stopped moving. His arms felt like jelly again.

"Do you know why were you hitting?" Dean asked.

"The car. I thought about it." Cas said quietly.

"But you did so good! You got all the way out there!"

"I wanted to get in."

"I know sweetheart, but it's just the nature of things. You have to practice before you get something right. Not just you, I do too. I didn't expect you to get it first try. Don't worry, I'm not upset. You shouldn't be either." Dean said gently. Cas relaxed against him.

"You're good. You make me not mad. I just can't stop it. I feel mad. I couldn't get in the car." Cas said.

"You're frustrated."

"Yeah, frustrated. Like mad, but less." Cas said.

"I know how you feel, I do. Why don't we sleep, and when we wake up, if you're still frustrated, we can try again. If not, we wait a little while." Dean suggested. Cas nodded.

"Ok. I do want to sleep. I'm tired now." Cas said. Dean smiled and pulled his hand closer to his chest, so he could hold it easier.

"Good. Rest now."

* * *

If was a couple weeks of practice before Cas was able to do it. He had gotten as far as to the car, touching the car, sitting on the hood, but not inside it.

Now, it was a regular morning, and Cas looked at those earmuffs on the counter. Dean grabbed the keys.

"Get on shoes." He reminded him.

As they got in the elevator, this time, Cas stood relaxed, and sure. Dean smiled at him, and Cas looked over.

"I think I can do it today." He said. Cas had said that every day, and Dean agreed every time. But today looked different, all from the way he was standing.

"I know you can." Dean said.

They exited the elevator and came to the impala. Cas stepped forward slowly, and touched the side, just letting his fingers skim the sleek metal. Dean smiled when Cas' hand landed on the door handle.

"Dean?"

"I'm right here Cas. You can do it." Dean encouraged.

Cas popped open the door. Immediately he was scurrying back to Dean like it had bitten him, but Dean just opened his arms wide so Cas could hug him.

"I'm too scared." Cas whispered.

"Cas, you opened the door, that's better then you've done before now. You made progress, don't be sad!" Dean smiled.

"I want to do it now. This is too long. I didn't want this much practice." Cas said. His hands curled into fists, and Dean knew he was getting upset.

"I know, but you have to listen to your body sometimes. Even if your brain says it wants to go on a date, your body says you're not ready yet." Dean said.

"But I am! I am!" Cas insisted. He yanked away from Dean and next thing he knew, Cas was in the car.

Dean waited for a moment. He waited for an explosion or a realization, but nothing came. Cautiously, he made his way to the drivers side.

When he opened it and sat down, he realized Cas was pale. He looked terrified, but he wasn't moving. His hands were still balled into fists in his sweat pants.

"Cas, it's ok. You're in the car. You made two steps in one day, that's great! We have to get out now and go celebrate that. Let's go back upstairs, ok?" Dean said gently. He knew Cas' stubbornness was holding him down from running, though.

"Cas, I know it's not what you want, but you've done enough today. You'll stress yourself out. Let's go upstairs and celebrate, huh? You got in the car! Why don't I make some mini pies? How does that sound? I saw a recipe for pies in jar lids. Isn't that crazy?"

"I like small things." Cas said quietly.

"Yeah, you do. You can eat as much as you want, too." Dean said.

"Come get me." Cas said quietly.

Quickly Dean was out and had shut his door. He ran to the other side of the car and crouched down, then pulled Cas out, lifting under his elbows and helping to hold his weight up against the car.

"Too much." Cas said. Dean didn't say he told him so. Instead, he shut his door, and held an arm around him as they walked back to the elevator.

* * *

It had been a week, and Cas had forced himself into the seat again three times. He knew Deans car was loud. He still asked him to crank it.

"Cas, I can't do that."

"Why?"

"You aren't good right now. Look at your hands Cas, you're shaking you're so scared." Dean said.

"I'm not."

"Cas, it's ok. You don't need to do this. We can date inside. You can put a cloth over the table, and-"

"No! Start!" Cas fussed. Dean sighed. When he got like this, there was no convincing him.

Dean twisted the key. As soon as it revved, Cas screamed. He jumped and ran out of the car. Dean yanked the key out and followed after him. He hadnt gone for the elevator, he'd gone for the stairs, on the other side of the parking garage.

Cas was fast, and Dean had just caught up with him two floor up when he tripped. He fell down, and his face narrowly missed the pavement when he caught himself.

Instead of getting up, he yelled. He punched the ground and started to cry. Dean came up behind him and whispered to him as he held his injured hand. He swore right then that he wouldn't let Cas near the car again.

* * *

"We need to talk."

"Why?" Cas asked. He put his toast on his plate and looked up.

"We can't go practice anymore. It's too much. I don't want you to get hurt again." He said.

Dean looked over to Cas' hand, where it had a couple of band-aids over the knuckles, while he had covered by a fingerless glove to make them stick. Dean knew there was a nasty bruise under there.

"No, have to!" Cas said quickly. He skipped a word, but Dean understood fine.

"Cas, you know I love you. I can't let you get hurt. I had another idea, and if you let me, I think we can still make this work. The car just isn't an option though, not anymore." Dean said sternly. Cas set his face angrily, but still asked.

"What idea?"

"There's a place I found. It's a block away from the bakery your brother owns. It's not the greatest date spot. There's sandwiches, soup, barbecue, burgers, salad, a lot of choices. Its just not as dark or quiet as you probably want, and it's not fancy. It's within walking distance though, that's the good part. The thing is, I know you don't like walking too far, and I wouldn't be able to carry you if things went wrong. I thought, maybe, we could bring the... Chair." Dean said quietly.

Cas pouted immediately. He grabbed up his toast, and his jar of "organic honey" and went to the couch. Dean bit his lip in amusement.

"You know I can still talk to you right?"

"No you can't."

Dean laughed. He sat back and laughed hard. Cas, reluctantly, joined in with little giggles.

"Stop. I'm blue. I'm sad-mad. Stop!" Cas fussed, smiling at every word.

"Ah, not a chance. I love your smile." Dean said. Cas blushed and looked away from him. He let out a little squeal and turned back. It just made Dean smile wider.

* * *

The chair was something rarely spoken of. In his early days, Cas was pushed in a wheelchair. After he grew out of his stroller, he needed an alternative. His family couldn't deal with him having panic attacks or overloads and screaming when they tried to carry him away. They opted for other transport.

Cas had always hated it. He said it made him feel short and "away". Away from conversations, and interactions, and even upper floors in buildings. So, he started to learn to walk more, and found shoes that didn't bother him as much. The chair was abandoned, but always kept just in case. Now, it was in the closet in their apartment.

Cas eventually came around to the idea. He started to mention things more and more, like asking if the place had an online menu, and asking exactly how far it was. One day Dean really realized it was happening.

"Can you... get my chair out?" Cas asked shyly. Dean smiled and got up from the couch. As he rummaged through the closet and pulled it out, Cas came back to the room with his "squishy" pillow and a blanket.

"I'm going to sit now." Cas informed him. Dean chuckled and waved for him to go ahead.

Cas put his feather-filled pillow on the chair, against the back, then put the blanket over the whole chair. He pushed it down so he could sit on it, and tucked it in so it would get caught in the wheels. Then, he turned and sat down.

"This is comfy now."

"It probably is better then when you were little. You didn't really fit in it back then. Is it better with the blanket?" Dean asked.

"A little." Cas said. He got up and pulled the bright pink, fuzzy blanket and pillow off.

"I'm done." Cas said, then promptly turned and went back to the bedroom. When Dean peaked in, he was at his easel drawing. Dean rolled his eyes and smiled as he put it away again.

* * *

Over the next week, he did it every day. He'd bring his pillow and blanket. When he sat in it, he decided it was good, and took his stuff back to his bed. Dean put the chair away, and that was that.

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asked finally.

"Practicing."

Dean smiled wide.

* * *

"Dean, how long is this restaurant open? The one for our date?" Cas asked. It was an out of the blue question, and Dean had to think for a minute.

"I think they shut the door at one. At night, that is. They open at seven in the morning."

"I would like to go at six. Can we leave at five fifteen?" Cas asked. Dean blinked and stared in surprise. He wasn't kidding.

"Well, that depends. You asking me on a date officially?" Dean asked. Cas smiled a little.

"I-I am. Asking you on a date. For tonight. Please?" He said quietly. Dean laughed and smiled at him.

"I would love to go on a date, and leave at five fifteen, and eat at six." Dean said kindly. Cas squealed and ducked his head. His hands flapped a little, before he managed to get control again. Dean laughed just from happiness.

* * *

Dean looked himself over. Nice jeans, his good boots, a clean green henley. His hair was combed, and his teeth were brushed. He looked to his side.

Cas was wearing his slouchy, gray, long sleeve shirt, and sweat pants that were a little too short, exposing his leg hair. His shoes were tennis shoes that were about five years too old. His hair was unruly, not for lack of trying to tame it.

He fell in love with him just a little more at the sight.

"You need anything else before we go?" Dean asked.

"I- yes. Yes." Cas said quickly. He practically bounced back into their bedroom and shut the door. Dean heard his shuffling around, then he came back out with a little bulge in his pocket. Cas nodded that he was ready.

They waited three minutes, and at exactly five fifteen, they started their walk. Dean rolled the chair into the elevator, but Cas didn't sit in it yet. In his seat were the earmuffs, and a stress ball in case he needed it. They got down to the lobby, and Cas took a few deep breaths.

"We're dating."

"We are."

"Green, green, green, happy." Cas giggled. Dean thought his jaw would fall off from how hard he was smiling. Green indeed.

Not a word was needed until they got to the street where the bakery was. Cas waved at the little store, even though Dean knew Gabriel wouldn't see. As they crossed the street again, Cas pointed to the chair.

"Sit?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Here, let me- yeah." Dean said, picking up the lawnmower earmuffs and stress ball. Cas sat down, and Dean put them in his lap.

"Comfy?"

"Yes." Cas said. Dean nodded and pushed.

As he rode, he started getting more antsy. He fidgeted, and picked at the blanket. It was better then his arms, so Dean let him.

"The restaurant is just up here. Around this corner and straight a block. Do you want to stop for a minute and rest, or keep going?" Dean asked. Cas shook his head.

"Going. Fine. Keep." Cas said quietly. Dean frowned, but he kept going anyway.

As soon as they were outside, Cas started to really panic. His breaths became gasps for air, and he pressed on the bridge of his nose. He wiggled in his seat. Dean stopped the wheelchair and pulled it up beside the door.

"Cas, look at me." Dean said. Cas looked up, and Dean reached out his hands. Cas took them quickly. He squeezed hard, but Dean didn't react.

"We're here! You did it! You're doing so good Cas. What's bothering you? Can you tell me?" Dean asked patiently. Cas took a few breaths.

"Afraid."

"Of what?"

"Noise. Chair. Small."

"You want to put those headphones on? For noise?" Dean asked. Cas looked at his lap, like he'd forgotten they were they. Maybe he had.

"Ok." He said quietly. Dean nodded and picked them up, then slid them on to Cas' head. He breathed in and out, more evenly.

"I'm small here." Cas said.

"I'm smaller then you right now. Isn't that weird?" Dean said. Cas nodded.

"You want to stand up? I'm sure you can walk in. Would that be better?" Dean asked. Cas nodded again.

"Words sweetheart, I need to know you're ok."

"I'm ok." Cas said.

Dean squeezed his hands one more time as he let go. He stood up, and Dean smiled.

"I want to hear first." Cas said. He slid the earmuffs off, and Dean didn't bother to tell him he had just decided to put them on. Cas had his reasons.

"You ready?"

"No."

"Do you think we should wait one more minute?"

"No." Cas said determinedly. Dean nodded and pushed the chair towards the door.

"Go ahead and open it for me buddy." Dean said. Cas nodded mutely and opened the door.

Immediately Cas started cataloging the sounds. Conversations, TV, kitchen ware, footsteps, plates and utensils, a phone call, too much. Too much.

He slid the earmuffs back on. He took a breath. Dean reached out his hand. He grabbed on.

"Picnic."

"What?"

"Next time. Outside. Park. Picnic." Cas said.

"We can do that." Dean chuckled.

"Dean, Dean, move. Need to." Cas said quickly.

He started to whine and Dean walked to stand in front of him. He smiled and let go of Cas' hand.

"You can flap if you need to, but only one hand. Let me hold the other one, ok? Not too far out though, try to flap down by your side, so you don't accidentally hit someone." Dean said. Cas followed his instructions, but he whined louder.

"I'm sorry- 'm sorry- can't-"

"You can. Cas, you're here. You're inside. You're doing great. I know how hard this is for you, and you don't need to apologize for being stressed." Dean said.

"I am! I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." Cas whined. His voice was quiet now, desperate, and Dean sighed.

"I accept your apology."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. How about we get a table, huh? We can sit in a booth against the wall, so the chair won't be too uncomfortable for you. We could even sit beside each other. How does that sound?" Dean asked. Cas flapped his one hand and nodded.

"Alright, stay by me." Dean said. They were holding hands, but Cas still might try to pull away.

"Excuse me, hi, can we leave his chair up here by the front? Just so we can get it when we're leaving?" Dean asked. The woman cleaning the table nearest them looked up, and she smiled at them.

"Of course, just right over by the umbrella pot. We'll watch it for you." She said. Dean nodded and wheeled it over, then came right back to Cas, taking his hand again.

"Alright Cas. Here, we don't wait to be seated, we just pick a spot. Let's go sit down back there, ok?" Dean said. 

"Dean- scared." Cas whined.

"I know, it's normal. You know what, this is the first new place you've been to in about a year. I understand how scary that is. But look down, huh? Look, I got your hand. It always turns out ok when I've got your hand, right?"

"Ok."

"Alright, that's the spirit. Come on, slow steps. Breathe in, step, breathe out, step." Dean repeated.

Cas edged closer to the booth in the back of the room. His body felt heavy, like he was leaning too far on Dean, and the only thing keeping Dean from worrying he was about to faint was the rhythmic flapping of his other hand.

When they were standing in front of the booth, Dean waved his free hand. Cas looked at each seat.

"Which one?"

"Left."

"Of course. You want me to sit beside you, or across from you?" Dean asked. Cas thought for a moment.

"Beside. Then back if- if ok." Cas said. He was skipping words, and swaying, and Dean grimaced in worry.

"Listen, we're here. But, if this is too much, we can always go back home and try again later. I'm ok with that, really. I think I've gone a little too fast since we got here." Dean said. Cas didn't move his head, but he hummed in acknowledgemeant.

"Beside." Cas mumbled.

"Alright. You know I have to ask if you're absolutely sure. Are you?" Dean asked. Cas' hand still shook as he pointed at the seat.

"Ok. Inside or outside seat?" Dean asked.

"Inside." Cas said. He slid into the booth, and Dean followed suit.

"Now then, we pick up menus and decide what to eat. So, do you think you want a sandwich, or meat?"

"Kids?"

"They have a kids menu. It won't be a very big meal though. You want to look?" Dean asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, here, turn it over. There it is-"

"Hello, I'm krissy, I'll be serving you. What can I get for you to drink?" She asked. Immediately Dean got a bad vibe off her, mainly because she was staring at Cas' earmuffs funny.

"I didn't even think about that. Just water for me. Cas, look right there- yeah, what drink do you want?" Dean asked, ignoring her glare.

Cas thought for a moment, then pointed towards the milk.

"Chocolate?" Cas whispered. He held Deans arm tight as he relayed for him.

"Do you have chocolate milk?" Dean asked.

"I think we do, if not we can make some with regular milk and syrup. Is that ok?" She asked politely. Cas nodded, and she scribbled on her note pad.

"Alright, I'll be right back with that." She smiled. Dean nodded and smiled back.

As soon as she was gone, he turned towards Cas and smiled wide. Cas looked at his lap nervously.

"Right?"

"Yeah, you did fine. You did great. Now we just wait for her to bring those drinks back. Do you want to keep looking at food?" Dean asked.

"Yes."

"Alright, lets see. They have a ham and cheese sub, a turkey and cheese sub, and a regular cheese sandwich. Any of those sound good?" Dean asked. Cas shook his head.

"Ok, there also... A hot dog, a hamburger, and chicken nuggets or chicken strips. Do those sound good?"

"Yeah, don't know which." Cas said. Dean smiled. Cas was starting to open up again.

"Ok, which are you debating on?" Dean asked.

"Hamburger and chicken."

"Which kind of chicken?"

"Nuggets. I like nuggets." Cas said.

"Well, try to picture it in your head. Think of what each one smells like, and then what it tasted like. Does that help?" Dean asked.

"I think so." Cas said quietly. He pointed to the sides, and Dean watched him read slowly.

"Macaroni?"

"Yeah, you can get macaroni. What do you want as your main dinner?"

"Hamburger. Can I have cheese?"

"Yeah, you can put whatever you want on it. Do you think you'll want lettuce and tomato?" Dean asked.

"No, plain. Just cheese." Cas said.

"Ok, sounds good. I think I'll get... This philly cheese steak sub. That sound ok?" Dean asked. Cas nodded.

"Good, cause here she comes."

"Alright, have you decided?" Krissy asked.

"I got this one Krissy."

Dean turned and looked over her shoulder. A big guy approached them, well-muscled with a scruff around his face. It took Dean a moment to place him.

"Benny?"

"Hey there Dean. Long time, no see." Benny smiled.

"Benny, I still basically get paid by tip. I need this table." Krissy said.

"It's ok, I'll give you the tip later." Benny waved her off. Krissy shrugged and waved at Cas, then handed the order check to him before walking away. Not a total tool then, she had acknowledged him.

Dean stood up and hugged Benny, slapping his back. Benny grinned, then his eyes flicked over Deans shoulder. Dean turned back around in time to be yanked back into his seat.

"Cas, what's wrong?" Dean asked.

"No!" Cas said.

"Hey, easy now, easy. This is Benny, I knew him in high school. He won't hurt you." Dean said quickly. Cas took a few deep breaths, and his hand started up again at his side weakly.

"Sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. He looks like a big grizzly bear, but he's more like your teddy bear." Dean joked. Benny smacked his arm playfully and Cas winced.

"Dean, is he... Does Cas happen to go to the hospital up around the corner?" Benny asked instead.

"Yeah, he does. Why?"

"This is the Cas I heard about. Cas, you know my brother." Benny said.

"Brother?"

"Step brother. Ain't no way we're actually related. He's a lot like you, but he's got tons of energy. He told me about "Cas" talkin' to his puppet at the hospital." Benny explained.

"Puppet."

"Yeah, he carries a sock puppet with him."

"Garth is small. You're big." Cas said quietly.

"Yeah, he's a skinny guy, isn't he?" Benny chuckled.

"Benny, what are you doing up here?" Dean asked.

"I'm lookin' to get hired to be a fire fighter. I did the test, so I'm lookin' for a place to get hired and actually work. Until then though, here I am." He said. Cas squinted and looked him over, but he was silent.

"So where are you staying?" Dean asked.

"With Garth actually. He's got a guest bed, so I'll be moving in with him, at least until I can find a place of my own." Benny explained.

"Hey, that's great, we should get together sometime." Dean said.

"Absolutely." Benny agreed.

"Dean."

"Yeah, what is it Cas?"

"We're together." Cas said sadly. Dean smiled and took his hand under the table.

"Don't worry, I just mean hang out, do something. Not "get together" like dating." Dean explained.

"Well well Dean, you and Cas. Interesting." Benny smiled.

"That alright?" Dean asked, his voice bordering on defensive.

"Yeah- no- of course. Hey, I'll get your orders and leave you to your date, alright? I didn't mean to intrude." Benny laughed. Dean nodded and looked to Cas.

"No, it's ok. It was great to see you. Cas, what do you want to eat?" Dean asked.

Cas backed up and flattened himself against Deans shoulder shyly. The earmuffs knocked Deans face, but he just shook his head and smiled.

"Ok, he wants a cheeseburger, plain, just cheese, and some macaroni on the side. Is there a way we can make that an adult sized order? He picked it from the kids menu." Dean explained.

"No problem, I got that covered. What about you?" Benny asked, writing on his note pad.

"Philly cheese steak sub, and some of those house made chips." Dean said. Benny nodded and finished writing.

"Alright, I'll rush that one through and get Krissy back on your table. You two have a good meal, alright?"

"Ok Benny, hey, good seeing you." Dean said. Benny slapped his shoulder as he walked away.

"Too many people."

"Yeah, it is getting kind of busy. Do you want to step outside?" Dean asked.

"No. Stay here. 'm tight in here." Cas said, pointing to his chest.

"Those are your nerves acting up, right? You're nervous?" Dean asked. Instead of answering, Cas turned towards him with determination written on his face.

"I want to kiss you."

"Go ahead."

Cas leaned forward and pressed his lips to Deans cheek, then his nose, then his other cheek. Dean let him, and only pulled away when he was sure Cas had stopped.

"Will you... Kiss me now?" Cas asked.

"Where?"

"Everywhere." Cas said quietly.

Dean smiled and leaned forward. He peppered Cas with tiny kisses. From his cheeks, to his chin, to his nose, to his forehead. Cas started to giggle, and he scrunched his eyes closed, so Dean laid kisses to each eyelid.

When he backed up just a little, he trailed his hand up Cas' arm, then shoulder, then to the side of his face. He put a hand gently on the earmuffs and hesitated, but Cas nodded.

Dean pulled the earmuffs off and put his hand back where it had been. Cas took a few breaths, then nodded again. Dean pulled his face forward and finally met his lips, and Cas' hand stopped its nervous movements completely. Dean smiled and pulled away from him.

"You feel better? Is your chest still tight?"

"Yeah, green tight. Green green green!" Cas squealed.

Cas' face lit up in a smile, and Dean momentarily forgot all other thoughts in his head. Cas' feet tapped on the floor under the table, and Dean knew it was because he couldn't contain his excitement, so he didn't try to stop him. It was incredible to watch his being able to just let go and be happy.

"I love you Cas." Dean whispered breathlessly.

"I love you, I love- you, you're green, and happy, and I love you too." Cas grinned. Dean blushed and looked away to compose himself.

"You're just so damn cute, you know that?" Dean smiled. Cas shrugged and smiled. He opened his mouth with his big gummy smile, and Dean laughed.

"You want to do anything while we wait for food?" Dean asked.

"Do they have coloring sheets?" Cas asked.

"I don't know, but I could flag someone down and ask. You want me to?" Dean asked.

"Ok. Can you scratch my back too?" Cas asked.

"Alright, but just for a few minutes. You know how scratching only makes you itch more." Dean said. Cas nodded his agreement.

Dean sighed as he lifted his hands up Cas' arms to his back. The little purring noise Cas made when he leaned towards Deans hand made up for how Deans arm was going to hurt after doing this for ten minutes.

When plates were put in front of them, Cas just stared at it. Dean thanked Krissy and as soon as she was gone, he picked up his sub. Cas moved his coloring sheet and crayons out of the way, but didn't move any more then that.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm... I don't know. Will it taste good?" Cas asked.

"Of course it will. Go on, try it." Dean said.

Instead, Cas picked it apart first. He took the bread off, then looked it over. He stuck his fork in the macaroni dish next and swirled it around. Satisfied, he put his cheeseburger back together and took a small bite.

"Is it good?" Dean asked.

"Yes, it's good. A little dry. Do you mind if I try the ketchup?" Cas asked.

"No, go ahead. Maybe taste it first though, before you put it all over the burger." Dean suggested. Cas nodded and picked up the bottle.

"How is yours?" Cas asked, squirting the ketchup on the side of his plate as he spoke.

"It's really good." Dean said simply. He took another bite as he watched Cas dip his burger in the ketchup and try it again.

"I like this." Cas said. Dean smiled and reached under the table, squeezing his hand.

"Told you that you would. You want to try mine?" Dean asked.

"No thank you." Cas smiled. Dean shrugged and dug into his.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Cas munched on his almost hesitantly, but he was starting to really eat. Dean however, was done with his, and had started on his chips.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Hamburgers are called hamburgers. But what I'm eating is a cheeseburger. Toppings aren't the only variable though. There's turkey burgers and veggie burgers. So, why then, if a hamburger is a burger made of beef, is it called a 'ham' burger? Shouldn't it be called a beef burger? Are there hamburgers made of ham though? What are those called?"

Cas' rapid fire questions made Dean laugh. His breath caught in his throat a he leaned back in his seat, gripping his stomach.

"Dean, this is a stunning revelation." Cas giggled. Dean doubled over, putting his head on the table to desperately try to keep his food in his mouth. Cas just smiled at him shyly and put a hand on his back as he calmed down.

Dean finally pulled out his phone and held up his finger.

"Just keep eating, I'm looking it up." Dean chuckled. He tapped on his phone, then sat up in his seat.

"A hamburger is named after the hamburg steak or hamburg meat. It was originally made in Hamburg Germany. Uh... Some stuff says original hamburg was just raw meat mushed together and eaten. There are other stories though, like this one. It says a man was paying workers to work on his property, and they wanted something filling to eat. He made them hamburgers and named them that in honor of his home, Hamburg. That answer your question Cas?"

"Partially. I suppose calling it a cheeseburger, and other variations, is an American tradition." Cas said.

"Yeah, guess so. But, I'm sure if you looked, you could find some kind of actual 'ham' burger." Dean added. Cas nodded solemnly and ate his last bite.

"That was very informative, thank you Dean." Cas said. He smiled, and Dean smiled back.

"So, you done?" Dean asked.

"Yes. The cheeseburger was good, but the macaroni wasn't as good as your homemade kind." Cas said. Dean chuckled and held out his hand. Cas took it easily.

"I'm glad my cooking is better then a restaurants cooking. Listen, we have to wait for the check, then we pay. That sound ok?" Dean asked.

"Of course." Cas said. Dean nodded and waved across the room, signaling Krissy to them.

"Can we get the bill please?" Dean asked.

"Of course, was everything good?" She asked nicely.

"It was great. Thank you." Dean said. She walked away and Dean started to pull his wallet out, when he realized Cas was digging in his pockets.

"Cas, what are you doing?"

"I want to pay. By myself." Cas said proudly. He pulled out a wad of crumpled bills and flattened them on the table.

"Cas, why are you paying?" Dean asked patiently.

"I asked you on the date, so I should pay. I want to." Cas said.

"You positive? I mean, this is your hospital money. The money you get from work. I know you don't go in much, I wouldn't want you to spend it all on this." Dean said.

"I'm sure. Dean, I want to. It's ok." Cas assured him.

"Well alright. How about we switch out then, huh? Next time we go on a date, I'll pay. Then, if you want, you can pay the time after that. And, y'know, so-on and so-on." Dean said.

"That sounds like a good plan. Will you... Can you pay the tip?" Cas asked shyly. Dean chuckled and pulled out his wallet.

"Course I can." Dean smiled.

As Krissy came back over and picked up the money, Dean slid out of the booth. He opened his arms and Cas stood up, then hugged him tight.

"Don't you want your change?" She asked.

"Keep it." Dean smiled. She nodded gratefully and pocketed the change.

"It's... Not as loud anymore. It's still is though. A little." Cas said quietly.

"Don't worry, I got you. Reach over and grab those earmuffs, and we'll get going, ok?" Dean said.

Cas nodded and untangled himself from Dean, long enough to grab them. Immediately he was back at Deans side, holding his arm.

"Remember, deep breaths. Just keep walking. It'll be ok." Dean said soothingly.

They took small steps, as Cas got more tense again, but he made it to the front fine. Dean picked up his stress ball from the seat of his wheelchair, and Cas sat down shakily.

"Here, put the ball and those earmuffs in your lap. There you go. I'm going to wrap the blanket around you now. Here... We go. There. Ready?" Dean asked. Cas nodded, and Dean pushed, letting Cas push the door open with his foot.

As soon as they were outside, Dean heard the door swing back open, and a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Krissy, what are you doing out here?" Dean asked. He turned Cas back to face her, but she just stared at Dean.

"Fifty?"

"What?"

"You left... Fifty dollars in tip." She said breathlessly.

"Yeah, guess I did. Hey, give ten to Benny, ok?"

"No but- I mean, why?"

"Because... You seem like a nice kid, having a bad day. I'm not rich, but I'm not in desperate need at the moment, and I thought I could do something to help you out." Dean said honestly.

"Thank you... Really, thank you. I... I really do need this. I'm trying to help get my dad but up on his feet, so this will be next weeks grocery run." Krissy smiled.

"Hey, I'm proud of you. Good decision. But get yourself something too, ok? Nothing bad, no cigarettes or anything, but get yourself some ice cream or, uh, a pizza, ok?" Dean said. Krissy nodded cheerfully.

She held out her hand, and Dean smiled and reluctantly fist-bumped her. She stuck out her fist for Cas, and Dean held his breath. Cas put his hand over hers gently.

"Paper beats rock. I've won." He smiled. Krissy looked baffled, but Dean laughed.

"No, this ones a fist bump sweetheart." Dean said gently.

"Oh, I apologize." Cas smiled. He stuck out his fist, and Krissy hesitantly bumped her fist to his. He smiled shyly and ducked his head.

"Alright, well, I better be getting home. Have a goodnight Krissy." Dean said.

"You too." She smiled.

Dean turned the wheelchair towards home and started to walk. Cas leaned back and shut his eyes.

"Did you have a good date?" Dean asked.

"Quite. It was nice, I just... I don't know why people like them as much as they do in books. People are always very excited, but you just eat and talk. That being said, I did enjoy our meal. I think next time, we should have our date in the park." Cas finished.

"We can definitely do that." Dean smiled.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes?"

"Look up. Kiss?"

"I'd like to."

Dean leaned down and Cas leaned up. It was awkward and upside-down. Cas pushed his away.

"Your mouth tastes like onions. Can you chew some gum on the way back?" Cas asked.

"For you, anything." Dean chuckled. He pulled his mint gum out of his pocket and pulled out a piece, sticking the trash back in his pocket.

"Can I shut my eyes?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, if you fall asleep, I'll wake you up when we're home." Dean said.

"Thank you Dean. So much." Cas said sincerely. Deans cheeks turned pink.

When they got to their building, Dean stopped the wheelchair and crouched down in front of it. He put a hand on Cas' knee and gently shook him until he stirred.

"Were outside the building. I'm going to put us in the elevator, ok?"

"M'kay." Cas mumbled. He slouched back over and Dean chuckled as he got up to push again.

As they walked in the building, Cas did start to wake up more. He opened his eyes, but he didn't try to get up. Sometimes it took him a minute to process things, so Dean informed him as they moved.

"Just got done with our date. You fell asleep on the way back. Were going upstairs to our room."

"Ok. Are we suppose to have sex?" Cas asked.

If Dean had been drinking something, he'd probably be dead now.

He stopped the wheelchair abruptly, and Cas whined as it jerked. Then, he caught himself, and kept moving. They got to the elevator, and Dean pushed the button.

"Did you want to?" Dean asked.

"Not really. I just wondered, because that's how dates in books go. You end the date and have sex. I'm too tired though." Cas said quietly.

He punctuated his statement with a yawn, as Dean pushed his chair into the elevator. The doors closed, and Dean pushed the button for their floor. It was suddenly tense, not at all for Cas, but for Dean.

"Cas, did you want to have sex some other time? I mean, have you been thinking about it?" Dean asked.

"Not really. I wasn't that interested. Maybe one day. Or when we get married." Cas said.

"You want to get married?"

"Eventually." Cas said. Dean nodded and took a breath. He could work with that.

They exited the elevator and Dean wheeled him forward. He handed Cas the key and he sat up and unlocked the door. As they went in, Cas yawned loudly and stood up.

"I'm going to brush my teeth." He stated.

"Ok, here, take your stuff to your bed first." Dean said. Cas nodded and picked up his pillow, blanket, and stress ball. He left the earmuffs in the seat.

Dean took his chair to the closet, and rolled it away. The earmuffs could stay there with it. He yawned and walked to the bathroom, where Cas was already brushing his teeth. He joined in, and when they finished, he walked Cas to their bedroom.

"You want to put on sleep clothes?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I think so." Cas said. He went to the closet and pulled down a t-shirt, but he just took off everything from his waist down. Dean did the same, and put on his comfy shirt, then stripped of pants, shoes, and socks.

"Do you want to wear underwear?" Dean asked.

"Oh, ok. I didn't realize they came off." Cas chuckled.

"You must be pretty tired, huh?"

"Yeah..." Cas smiled sleepily. He pulled on a pair of clean underwear and then rubbed his eyes. Dean smiled at him.

"Where do you want to sleep?" Dean asked.

"I'll... Can I try your bed?" Cas asked.

"Sure. You want to put your fuzzy blanket under you?" Dean asked.

"That would be nice." Cas smiled. Dean dipped his head and went to Cas' bed. He took the bright pink blanket, the one that had previously been on the wheelchair, and laid it out on his bed. Cas laid down on top of it, on the left of course, and pulled up the covers over himself.

"This is comfy. You're laying down with me, right?" Cas asked.

"Course I am. Here, scoot over a little." Dean said. He slid over and Dean crawled in, pulling the covers back into position.

"Touch?" Dean asked. Cas patted the bed twice and Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist.

"Goodnight kiss?" Dean asked.

Cas turned his head and kissed him gently, and Dean reciprocated just as easily. He pulled Cas just a little closer, and leaned over him more, so Cas didn't have to stretch his neck as much.

When Cas pulled back, they were eye to eye, and Deans breath stuttered. They were so blue.

"Love you." Cas whispered.

"I love you too." Dean said breathlessly.

"Goodnight Dean."

"Night sweetheart." Dean mumbled. He laid back and tucked his nose against Cas' hair. It smelled like his special shampoo. He laid for a few minutes like that, just holding him.

"I really... really love you." Dean whispered. Cas was already too asleep to answer.

He held Cas just a little tighter, with no intentions of letting go any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> So, the hamburger conversation happened. I was tired, ok?


End file.
